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    June 20

    早恋是个伪命题

    最近读书的时候老是横空出现一些不相干的想法.

    比如说读某个反贪小说,自己总是觉得里面的办案人员执法违法.

    诸如此类.

    特别是某次读到一本伦理学方面的著作,忽然想到在中国家长孩子都有的”早恋”这个认知,为什么从来没有在西文里出现?

    自己立刻联想到很多”中国特色”的群众认知,心里面泛起了思维的泡沫.

    首先什么是”早恋”,或着说多早才算?

    必须承认自己是有考据癖的,我把自己能想到的古书都看了一遍:红楼梦里面袭人和贾宝玉是多少岁,西厢记那位里面几岁就开始站墙根了, 甚至<女驯>里面的操守要求都检查了一翻.

    结果发现古往今来中国人,如果在平均寿命的前23-25%的时间段里恋爱,大多就算为”过早”.(古代50岁,现代75岁人均寿命)

    不过问题又来了,古代那种小夫妻,指腹为婚的该怎么算?

    于是乎,关键是那个”恋”字.

    在儒学里,恋是纯爱之意,恋为所有人追求的东西.

    所以,12-13岁之前青梅竹马那种”早恋”,倒是颇被中国人接受.

    但是一旦进入青春期,加之学业上的压力,这一认知彻底逆转.

    对于中学生来说,不管赞同或否定,脑子里面总是抱有一个”早恋”的概念.

    而实际上鲜有人质疑”早恋”这一命题本身.

    法律上说,国家虽然对结婚和性行为进行了规定,但从来没有对”恋”进行描述.

    年少爱慕是不犯王法的.

    那么,这一讨论在别的国家一般来说可以至此而终了,可惜国人是不太在乎法律的,非要扣上自己伦理认知的帽子.

    大凡论及此,正反双方总会扯出很多危害或是益处,然后分析利大于弊之类的牛头不对马嘴的问题.

    就如同,千百年来中国知识份子们从未质疑天子统治的天然合法性.

    对不起,早恋本身就是伪命题,世界上也不存在什么早恋.

    恋是每个人生而具有的权利.

    行为上不违反自己签定的那份社会契约,谁人还能说三道四?

    叹,在一个家天下痕迹深重的中国,才会将不是问题的问题化为问题.

    Comments (1)

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    Amber Wangwrote:
    早恋啊,很久远的事情了,现在这个年纪,已经被别人说成大龄单身青年了。
    June 24

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